“Lasting change rarely comes from trying harder or fixing what’s “wrong.” It comes from understanding how change actually works — in the brain, in our emotional lives, and in the patterns we’ve been repeating for years without realizing it. The work I do brings together three complementary approaches that each address a different layer of the change process: how behavior is shaped beneath conscious awareness, how personality patterns influence our reactions and decisions, and how internal protective responses can either block or support growth. Used together, they create a compassionate, practical way forward for people who want their lives to feel different but don’t trust that change is possible — or don’t know where to start. Instead of forcing outcomes, this work helps people build awareness, self-trust, and clarity from the inside out, so change becomes something they experience, not something they have to fight for.”
The Science of Behavior Change
Emotion-Based Change
Most change-based programs focus on the behavior of an individual, which is why so many fail. My work is based on emotional drivers that create our motivation to change. This is far more likely to work.
The Subconscious Mind
This is where we hold our deepest beliefs, memories, and emotions, all of which can be stored for decades and influenced or triggered by marketing tactics, friends, coworkers, and family. We may not even be aware of some of these thoughts. We just know we’re triggered.
The Liminal Space
The liminal space in our minds is the space between our conscious everyday decisions and the subconscious thoughts and feelings that drive them. Together we can access the thoughts and emotions that guide our actions and alter them.
Behavior
Our behavior is the tip of the iceberg. We are driven by a vast array of feelings and emotions, all of which have been based on previous experiences. Fixing this alone is like taking painkillers for a toothache. It does not address the underlying issues.
Affective Liminal Psychology™
The Science of The System of Self
Affective: The Experience of Feeling or Emotion
The term "affective" pertains to emotions, feelings, or moods, particularly about how they are expressed, experienced, or influenced. Affective processes involve the subjective and emotional aspects of human experiences, encompassing a wide range of emotional states and expressions. In psychology and related fields, "affective" is often used to describe the emotional or feeling component of human behavior and mental processes. It can refer to the expression of emotions, emotional responses, or the impact of emotions on cognition and behavior.
Liminal: The Threshold Between Two States
The term 'liminal' denotes a transitional stage of a process. Liminality often precedes personal transformation. To truly understand the emotional drivers of our behavior, we must engage with the liminal, or in-between space.
ALP focuses on the spaces existing between the conscious and subconscious, between stimulus and response, between intention (or origin) and destination, and between our often false perceptions and our truest selves. It's within these spaces that we believe insights can be revealed and change occurs.
Psychology: The Study of Mind & Behavior
Psychology is the scientific study of the mind and behavior providing insights into human thought, emotion and behavior, allowing individuals to better understand themselves and society as a whole. ALP approaches psychological exploration from the simple theory that Affect is not simply a factor of behavior but, more often than not, the driving force behind our behaviors. And the path to changing our behavior and living a more peaceful, and joyful life, is through a shift in our emotional landscape, which occurs through the key dimensions of the liminal, or in-between spaces in our human experience.
“A crucial aspect of ALP is the understanding that our entire self, including our perception of self, emotions, thoughts, behaviors, actions, and the interaction between our mind and behavior, forms a system. A system we refer to as ‘The System of Self.’ ”
Motivation and Emotion
The Enneagram is a personality system that describes nine core patterns of motivation, attention, and emotional habit. Each pattern developed as a way of navigating the world, staying safe, and getting needs met — often long before we were consciously aware of it.
The Enneagram
The Psychology of Our Patterns
Focus of Attention
A key element of the Enneagram is focus of attention. Each personality type habitually pays attention to certain information and automatically filters out other information. This focus shapes how situations are interpreted, what feels important or threatening, and what gets responded to first — often without conscious awareness. Over time, this narrowed focus keeps personality patterns running on autopilot.
The “Why” Behind Behavior
Rather than focusing on what you do, the Enneagram reveals why you do it. It highlights the unconscious beliefs, emotional reactions, and coping strategies that drive behavior — especially under stress.
A Dynamic Map
How Awareness Leads to Real Growth
Pattern Recognition:
The Enneagram helps you recognize the core patterns that shape how you interpret experience, manage emotion, and respond to challenge. These patterns tend to run automatically, especially under stress, which is why insight alone often isn’t enough to create change.
Self-Observation in Real Time:
Rather than analyzing personality from a distance, Enneagram work focuses on noticing patterns as they arise — in thoughts, emotional reactions, and impulses. This moment-to-moment awareness creates space between you and the pattern, interrupting automatic responses.
Transformation, Not Optimization:
Growth in the Enneagram isn’t about improving your personality or becoming a “better” version of your type. It’s about loosening identification with habitual strategies so deeper qualities — such as presence, balance, and inner steadiness — can emerge more naturally.
“In order to change behavior to achieve personal growth, we must develop one capacity: we must develop the ability to create the mental and emotional space inside ourselves to observe and understand what we are doing and think about why we do it. From this starting point … we can begin to see more clearly where and how we are stuck in a habit and how we can make the conscious choice to do something different.”
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
The Mind Is Naturally Multiple:
Internal Family Systems is based on the understanding that the mind is not a single voice, but an inner system made up of different parts. Each part has its own perspective, emotions, and role, shaped by life experience.
Understanding the System Within You
Every Part Has a Reason:
Some parts work to manage daily life and prevent discomfort. Others react quickly when emotions feel intense. Still others carry pain, fear, or shame from earlier experiences. These patterns are not flaws — they reflect a system that learned how to protect you.
The Self at the Center:
At the center of this system is the Self — the calm, clear, compassionate core of who you are. The Self is not something that needs to be created or fixed; it is already present and becomes accessible when the system feels safe enough.
Working With Your Inner System
From Internal Conflict to Self-Leadership
Working With Parts Instead of Against Them: IFS does not try to eliminate parts or override internal reactions. Instead, it helps you understand the role each part plays, especially those that emerge in response to stress, habit, and emotional reactivity.
Accessing Self-Leadership:
As parts feel understood rather than judged, the Self becomes more available. From this state of calm curiosity and clarity, people can respond to themselves and their lives instead of reacting automatically.
Unburdening and Internal Reorganization:
When parts no longer need to carry extreme beliefs or emotions from the past, they naturally release what they’ve been holding. The internal system reorganizes around trust, balance, and flexibility, making new ways of being easier to sustain.
“IFS is a loving way of relating internally. Our inner parts contain valuable qualities and our core Self knows how to heal, allowing us to become integrated and whole. In IFS all parts are welcome.”
Real change doesn’t come from forcing yourself to be different — it happens when you finally understand what’s been driving you all along. By learning how your inner system works, how your attention shapes your reactions, and how your patterns once protected you, you stop fighting yourself and start choosing a life that truly feels aligned. If you’re ready to step out of automatic reactions, reduce inner conflict, and discover what’s possible when change comes from the inside out, let’s talk and discover what’s waiting for you on the other side of hesitation.
Coach Margie Coltharp